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Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Oh Oobee Doo, I wanna be like you. (How to be like a man)

As any married woman probably feels, there are times when you wish you could return your husband at the husband store, and not for even an exchange, but for a cash refund! However, there are many things you can learn from the wacky ways of this species called "male", especially from the behavior that winds you up. These are a few of the gems I have learned (or still am learning) from my husband:

1. Take care of you first.
Men have this fantastic skill of being able to get out of bed, brush their teeth and pee, all whilst a baby is crying. They seem to be able to take care of their basic needs, before meeting the needs of others. There is also no greater fire-starter to burn a woman's butt than walking in to an upside-down house, and a sink full of dishes, hubby is relaxing on the couch playing video-games. But why shouldn't he? Who says that housework comes before one's needs for R&R after a hectic day at work? Women somehow feel a need to meet the needs of everyone and everything else around them, putting themselves last, and then wonder why they get mad when they see a man relaxing.If you could adopt just this one skill, you may feel loads lighter

2.Be selfish with your sleep.

I learned early into my marriage that my husband is like a bear hibernating when he sleeps, and if disturbed, will more than likely bite. Nothing is more important than a man and his sleep, and if you are ever able to, do it! Unfortunately, I tend to be a light sleeper, so anytime one of my children so much as coughs I'm wide awake. If you have extra time in the day, nap! If not, go to bed early, and make sure to trade sleep in days with your guy.

3.Don't take yourself too seriously.
(Or anyone else for that matter). Like water off a duck, my husband enviably lets most arguments and stresses roll off his back. He doesn't over-analyze a comment, or hold grudges, or store up ammunition from previous disagreements for future fights (I tend to play over arguments on video repeat in my elephant memory). Most subject matter, he holds no opinion on, unless it falls into one of the three main categories he cares passionately about; God's will,video-games, and food (Yes, he's a man of many hats). One of his favorite things to say is, "Who cares?" And really, once you get past your own emotions, who does?

4.Live in the moment

Just as fights don't stick, he is very good at living right here, right now. He stays out of his head, leaving the past in the darkened crevices of his memory until they fizzle into non-existence. He also tends not to mull over future unfulfilled fears. If one could see into a man's hippocampus (area of the brain that transfers short term memory into long term), it would probably liken to the "nothing" in the Never Ending Story- and I don't say that with a condescending demeanor.

So for all my complaining about what I wish he would change, I think it's more about what I wish I could change!

Love and testosterone,
Kerry the Momster

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