Oh Oobee Doo, I wanna be like you. (How to be like a man)

As any married woman probably feels, there are times when you wish you could return your husband at the husband store, and not for even an exchange, but for a cash refund! However, there are many things you can learn from the wacky ways of this species called "male", especially from the behavior that winds you up. These are a few of the gems I have learned (or still am learning) from my husband:

1. Take care of you first.
Men have this fantastic skill of being able to get out of bed, brush their teeth and pee, all whilst a baby is crying. They seem to be able to take care of their basic needs, before meeting the needs of others. There is also no greater fire-starter to burn a woman's butt than walking in to an upside-down house, and a sink full of dishes, hubby is relaxing on the couch playing video-games. But why shouldn't he? Who says that housework comes before one's needs for R&R after a hectic day at work? Women somehow feel a need to meet the needs of everyone and everything else around them, putting themselves last, and then wonder why they get mad when they see a man relaxing.If you could adopt just this one skill, you may feel loads lighter

2.Be selfish with your sleep.
I learned early into my marriage that my husband is like a bear hibernating when he sleeps, and if disturbed, will more than likely bite. Nothing is more important than a man and his sleep, and if you are ever able to, do it! Unfortunately, I tend to be a light sleeper, so anytime one of my children so much as coughs I'm wide awake. If you have extra time in the day, nap! If not, go to bed early, and make sure to trade sleep in days with your guy.

3.Don't take yourself too seriously.
(Or anyone else for that matter). Like water off a duck, my husband enviably lets most arguments and stresses roll off his back. He doesn't over-analyze a comment, or hold grudges, or store up ammunition from previous disagreements for future fights (I tend to play over arguments on video repeat in my elephant memory). Most subject matter, he holds no opinion on, unless it falls into one of the three main categories he cares passionately about; God's will,video-games, and food (Yes, he's a man of many hats). One of his favorite things to say is, "Who cares?" And really, once you get past your own emotions, who does?

4.Live in the moment
Just as fights don't stick, he is very good at living right here, right now. He stays out of his head, leaving the past in the darkened crevices of his memory until they fizzle into non-existence. He also tends not to mull over future unfulfilled fears. If one could see into a man's hippocampus (area of the brain that transfers short term memory into long term), it would probably liken to the "nothing" in the Never Ending Story- and I don't say that with a condescending demeanor.

So for all my complaining about what I wish he would change, I think it's more about what I wish I could change!


Love and testosterone,
Kerry the Momster

Delicious Dates

There are many quotes out there that try to epitomize the essence of love and the lessons people who have "been there-done that" have learned. I am using some of these quotes to inspire creative date ideas for me and my hubby. Feel free to steal some for stolen moments with your special other.

1. True love is not gazing into each others'  eyes, but gazing together towards the same future. Go to the top of a lighthouse...and gaze out. Bring a picnic.
2. The love game is never called off on account of darkness. Go to Boomers or Dave and Busters and get your love game on. 
3. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Have a board game night, and test your love's ability to stay true to these little nuggets. (Warning: board games can be dangerous for fragile relationships. If this is you, save this for when you two are on more solid ground. I have seen too many relationships ripped at the seams thanks to a hotel on Boardwalk)
4. "We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. " Let the moonlight help you see your spouse in a more perfect light by going on a wonderful nighttime kayak. Moonlight kayaking atlanticcoastkayak.com $45
5. Love is a game that two can play and both win. Play a game of laser tag or paintball together. You can work up some friendly competition by playing against each other, or on the same team where your love can be your "hero", or you can show him how much but you kick.
6. "I'm so in love, every time I look at you my soul gets dizzy." Get your head's as dizzy as your heart by skating round and round in circles (roller-rink or ice-rink). If you go to an ice-rink you can bundle up, have some hot chocolate and even if you live in a warm climate, partake in a good old- fashioned snow fight behind the rink with ice shavings. My hubby and I did this on one of our first dates and even built a mini-igloo.
7. "Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own." Keep this in mind as you set up a treasure hunt for your other part. Have it end with a special gift (my husband's favorite are video games, but a naked wife at the end works wonders too) . Make your clues romantic or provocative, they can be through the house or through your city. Write clues on index cards with bows or frills on them.
8. "We find rest in those we love, and we provide a resting place in ourselves for those who love us."  Reach a place of rest together- high up on a rock climbing wall. Encourage each other, and feel that amazing rush as you achieve something great together.
9. The most eloquent silence; that of two mouths meeting in a kiss." Take a bottle of wine, a delicious take out dinner and head to a drive in movie. Kiss, snuggle, eat and be entertained on the cheap-ish.Extra points for romantic movies.
10. "Some people come into our lives and quickly go.  Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same. " Go out and leave your relationship's footprints in the sand with some hooves... horse hooves. Horseback riding is adventurous and romantic, and I plan to do this the moment I'm not pregnant anymore. I am especially eager to go horse riding on a beach. Maybe followed by a picnic (have you noticed yet how much I love romantic picnics?). 

I hope you and yours can utilize some of these ideas to romance each other. Time is short, love is precious, so be sure to cultivate it whenever you can.

Love and more love,
Kerry the Momster