Strong Willed

I've been reading all about how to deal with a strong willed child (as my preschooler most definately is!). I've been trying out new parenting strategies with rewards and consequences and thus far I have seen an improvement in behavior. It usually takes 30 days to change a new habit, and we have only been implementing new strategies for a couple weeks, but I already see the change.

Rewards:

• We have continued with the reward chart (From Supernanny.com), we just chose a new one for the summer with a pirate theme. This chart is for those times we "catch" her being good or doing something helpful. If we notice exceptionally good behavior when we are out, we inform her that she can move up one, sometimes even two, spaces on her chart. Once she hits 10, she gets to choose a prize out of the treasure chest. At first we used this chart for consequences too, by moving her back, but decided it should only be used as a positive tool. This treasure chest strategy also helps when we are at stores and she gets the "wants" (i want, i want, i want). If it is something small I often give in and say she may have it FOR HER TREASURE CHEST. Then I know she has even more incentive to move up to get that item. If it is something bigger, I tel her we will add it to her birthday wishlist (this works at ANY time of year) and when we get home I add it to her running list online.
• Our other positive reinforcement is money. My daughter wants a hamster, so currently we are working towards getting that. We have implemented a chore system , where she gets a quarter, 50c or $1.00 depending on the chore. Some examples are:  

1. 50c sorting laundry socks
2. 25c making her bed
3. 50c feeding the dog
4. 1.00 vacuuming up dust piles as I sweep

I also use this money as a way for her to understand the value of items. She currently has $15.00 and recently we went to the store where she wanted a toy for $10. I said she could have it, using her "hamster" money but then she would only have $5 left and have to wait longer for the hamster. She decided she wanted the hamster more and did not purchase the toy.

So I have realized that parenting is a creative, ever changing process with trial and errors along the way. I will indulge you into my horrible world of consequences in a future posting.

Love and discipline,
Kerry the Monster